Pilot Wife Proud

I’m going to jump right in and set a couple of crazy, crooked rumors straight.

Yes, I am really married to a pilot, something that I think is readily obvious if you scan through my page or website. It kind of surprises me that this is even a matter of question at all, but whatever. I am.

Yes, my pilot flies commercially, though we have flown the whole, beautiful, airline spectrum over the years. We have been part 135, part 121, part 91 and part insane—all at one time or another. Make that completely insane all the time. You sort of have to be to live this life well!

No, I don’t get paid (and never have) by any airline to write blogs. Zip. Nada. Nothing. You’re just going to have to take my word on that one, but I’d drive a much cooler car (i.e. one with twin engines and a set of wings) and eat a lot more steak and a lot less Ramen if someone was paying me the big buckaroos. I mean, I humbly thank you for finding my writing compelling enough to believe it’s worth the big dollar signs–that’s quite the [unintentional] compliment. But, nope. Not a single penny. 

Listen, I don’t even take money (or merchandise) for product endorsement because I want the things I say to you to be real and from my own heart. Here’s what you can bank on. If I tell you I like something, it’s because I do, not because I was paid to say I do. And if I write something, it’s because I mean it, not because someone told me I have to mean it. That is my promise to you. 

Now. Tomorrow. Always.

Yes, sometimes I am snarky. Well, I like to think of it as charming and witty, but I’ll concede. The thing is, we live a chaotic, topsy-turvy, and oftentimes lonely life of comings and goings. Sometimes it can be pretty difficult and I deal with them by making light and joking about heavy things. It’s a survival technique. I know my aviation family gets exactly what I’m talking about. There are so many times when you either have to laugh or you’ll cry. I simply choose to laugh. 

No, I am not ashamed to be a pilot’s wife. I mean, what?!?! My name is Angelia—again, pretty readily available. I like my name. I choose to sign my blogs as ‘a fellow pilot wife’ as a means of identifying with my beautiful audience which consists predominantly of, you guessed it, pilots’ wives. I was informed (more than once and in different verbiage) that, “It is shameful and disgusting for a woman in today’s world to identify herself by her man’s career. You should be deeply ashamed of yourself.” And here’s my heartfelt response:

The heck I should be! 

Do you want to know what I think is disgusting and shameful? Demeaning and shaming a complete stranger for loving her husband, that’s what. And do you want to know what I think is sexist? Presuming that a woman is incapable of being wildly successful in her own field and still loving her husband well at the same time. That’s what. 

I am woman. I am more than capable. 

I don’t spend a lot of time here bragging myself up and making myself look super-duper special because (a) I founded this site to pour into you, my lovely aviation family, not to stroke my own ego, and (b) I have full, unwavering confidence in my identity. Therefore, I don’t feel the need to explain myself to anyone, especially a bunch of strangers whose only intent is to tear me down. Sorry, but I just don’t care what you think. I’m sorry if that sounds snarky… Eh, who am I fooling? No, I’m not.

For the full record I’m going to do this one time and one time only for those of you who want to really know who I am. If you want to skip my resume and move onto the next paragraph, by all means go ahead. It won’t hurt my feelings.

I am:

  • The owner and operator of my very own Publishing company, AGF Publishing
  • The published author of not one, but two, full-length fiction novels (think C.S. Lewis or Tolkien): The Crystal Keys Series: Champion of Destiny (book I) and Sera Oth Berinon (Book II). Click on the link and check them out. Or just go to Amazon. Seriously, selfless plug right there because I don’t get paid to blog and need some wine and chocolate money. So yeah, check it out!
  • A mother to two amazing, but ridiculously busy children. I usually write on the fly, literally.
  • A full-time homeschool teacher to those same two children. Who knew the only thing I would ever use algebra for would be to teach my own kids algebra. Oh, the irony.
  • The owner and operator of a small farm including 60 head of livestock (mostly poultry) and a large, productive garden.
  • The liaison and weekly volunteer for a local homeless ministry (we make about 10K hygiene kits per year to be handed out to homeless around the community).
  • An assistant to my husband in his event coordinator position for an awesome program that gives special needs children wings.
  • Apparently, a megaviral blogger. One that does not get paid. Wait… Did I mention that already?
  • A magazine contributor and a freelance writer for other online sources (including my other two blogs). Yeah, sometimes [rarely] I get paid for this, but most of my content is farm related. I’ve honestly been too busy loving on aviation families to write for that recently though. 
  • Mentor to 12K incredible aviation men and women in a fight to encourage their marriages at a wildly popular aviation blog. You know the one (**wink, wink!)
  • Supporter, founder, and volunteer for several other amazing nonprofits. 
  • And…oh, yeah…a pilot’s wife.

That’s me in a nut shell; and I do mean nut. I’m certainly not ashamed of who I am. Not even a little bit. 

Now, this is where this blog gets interesting and where I (thankfully) get to turn it back to you and make a very potent statement about this life we live. I think it’s quite obvious that my identity is much, much more than ‘just’ a pilot’s wife. I am, quite frankly, too busy at times juggling all of the aspects of my identity. 

But.

What if I didn’t have a zillion other things piled up on my plate? What if I wasn’t ‘more than?’ What if I was ‘just’ a stay-at-home pilot’s wife and/or mommy and that was the identity I chose to embrace at this juncture of my life?  

So friggin’ what!? 

In fact, if that’s you, MEGA kudos to you for that! If you have chosen to focus on being an amazing wife and/or an amazing mom as your current career path, then you are a full-blown superhero worthy of accolades and great honor. That’s ‘what if!’ 

No. Shame.

Since when did being an amazing, loving wife who holds down the fort, supports her husband well, and keeps things rolling on the home front become a thing of humiliation and shame? Since when did raising the next generation to become compassionate, able, productive members of society become a lesser career? We need more of that, not less! Just read the comments on the internet if you don’t believe me. No, on second thought…don’t.

Look, the things you are doing are incomparably important, amazing, and precious! Being a wife? That is a beautiful and worthy career. Being a mom? That is an esteemed occupation on a level with medicine or law…or aviation. 

If you choose wifehood and/or motherhood as your sole career, hold your head up and be proud. You are simply amazing because you are FLYing in the way that is best suited for you, my beautiful sister! To suggest anything else is nothing less than assanine. 

And if you are a pilot’s wife and/or mom who chooses to hold a job outside the home? Kudos to you too, beautiful sister! I’m certainly not downplaying your choice. You are amazing because you are FLYing in your own way! 

The only wrong way to live this life is to not live it–or to let some bitter fool tell you that you should be ashamed of how you choose to live it. 

If you pick what makes you happy (whatever that is), and if you pour yourself into the things that matter to you most, and if you follow your heart and do everything you do with exceeding joy and fervor, if you treat others with kindness and compassion…

You have nothing to be ashamed of! In fact, you have everything to be proud of.

Listen to me, you beautiful, strong, amazing women! There is no shame in being a pilot’s wife! You are the glue that holds this life together. You are the compass that guides him home. You have the great honor of loving your husband well. You wear a thousand hats on any given day. You are a plumber, a business woman, an accountant, a chef, a mechanic, a carpenter, a counselor, a homemaker, a scheduler, an encourager, and on and on. And if you have children? More hats—doctor, teacher, chauffeur, coach, contortionist, referee, nurse, friend, short order cook, disciplinarian, wonder woman!

No one gets to tell you that you should be ashamed. No one gets to demean you. No one gets to consider your value lesser. No one gets to judge you. Ever. Because they don’t know what I do—what you do. 

They don’t know what amazing strength it takes to walk through your unique life circumstances. They don’t know the trials you have survived. They don’t know what it takes to love a traveling spouse well.

And they have forgotten that being a wife and/or a mother is a great blessing–a sweet, precious gift.

So am I pilot wife ashamed

Hell no!! I am pilot wife proud.

And you should be too.

love you, aviation family.

Tailwinds.

~Angelia (a confident, proud, unashamed, fellow pilot wife)

FOLLOW ME ON FACEBOOK

 

27 thoughts on “Pilot Wife Proud

  1. You said it girl! I too am proud to be the stay at home wife of a commercial airline pilot. I retired from a 30 year career in teaching which I loved. My pilot, who is three years younger than I works very hard flying to Asia, Guam, the Marianas Islands and Hawaii. I often get comments about how “cushy” his job must be because he flies to beautiful places. Listen people, he works in a tight space called a cockpit. He must be alert and aware so that he and his first officer can get passengers safely to the places they want to go. When he arrives he sleeps. He may get a day or two before flying back to base. My point is this, pilots work very hard mentally and that too is tiring. I have often gotten flack because I do his laundry, I iron his shirts when needed, even shine his shoes sometimes. And YES, I am a modern woman, a supportive woman to my husband. I travel the world and experience people, places and cultures that I probably wouldn’t if weren’t married to a pilot. You can criticize and scoff all you want but I like my fellow pilot wives and husbands will continue to love and support our pilots.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Cushy! People have ao many misconceptions about their life. Like he spends time seeing exotic places…except the most he sees of most of them is an airport or hotel. He’s not sight seeing, he’s working! Amd the skill level he needs to donwhat he does is incredible! The only job where you basically have to reapply for your job every six months. I live my life. I choose this! Although, I don’t iron his shirts. He prefers not to have a iron shaped hole on the back. LOL.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. If you don’t live this life you’ll never understand. We know that the aviation career of our husbands is a lifestyle one that came with the marriage. I would say most marriages are not as greatly impacted by their spouses jobs. I know you know this from reading your blogs. Don’t let anyone ruffle your feathers and you certainly do not have to justify yourself! Thanks for the blog!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. #preach
    I hate trolls who hide behind keyboards and disparage and vilify.
    I’m not a pilot’s wife but I’m a wife. It’s ok to love your husband and support him. Ummmm isn’t that what marriage is about? No matter the occupation?
    My husband is flying more due to a new job. I’m supportive of kick ass pilots who are husbands or wives that get him to his destination safely.
    I love reading your blog!! 💜

    Liked by 1 person

  4. “Since when did being an amazing, loving wife who holds down the fort, supports her husband well, and keeps things rolling on the home front become a thing of humiliation and shame? Since when did raising the next generation to become compassionate, able, productive members of society become a lesser career? We need more of that, not less! ”

    Love this. Love this SO MUCH.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. You are one strong amazing women…keep it up! Your blog is so encouraging and correct! Thank you, I love reading your blog, only wish I would of had this when I was raising my 3 kids…I’ve been doing this pilot wife thing for 35 years now and I am thankful in that it has me a strong, independent women. It is so nice to have some of my thoughts etc. validated in your blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. You need to prove yourself to no one including the people who have been demeaning. Our lifestyle is not for the faint of heart. We can’t be the type of wives who call their husbands everytime something does not work. Countless times when I call my husband he is about to taxi and I am not going to even attempt to tell him that our dish washer broke. He has the safety of all those passengers on his mind and a job to do! We have been married for over 30 years and I have had several careers as an owner of a small newspaper, mayor and county commissioner. Now I am having fun learning the travel industry as our kids are grown and we can not travel like we never did before. I appreciate our lifestyle and now that our children are adults, I am learning how to enjoy the quiet and be alone. Some days it is down right lonely. I am glad you are writing about your experiences. I wish when my kids were small that I had an outlet like your blog. Keep on writing and ignore the people who attack. Follow my blog 2laughinggals.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You know I love you, aviation sister! I have thick skin, but I felt it needed to be said because I am not the only one that it’s said to, and we have lots of aviation wives that need to know that they are amazing! I have loved going through the transitions of this life…newlywed, mother, etc. Now my kids are a bit older and I feel like I am in a new fun phase where I can actually use some of those flight benefits I’ve always heard about. LOL. Blessings!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I found your blog by accident and I’m so glad I did. So many things need to be handled when our loves are out WORKING. As those of us here know all too well, he is not enjoying the cushy travel lifestyle. He’s navigating airport crowds, waiting in the cold for a hotel van, handling maintenance issues with the airplane he just sat down in, or praying to the stand-by gods just so he can get home; he will then start it all over again in two or three days time. Nor are we always enjoying the “perks” of being a pilot’s wife. As others have said, unless you live this aviation life, you truly do not understand what it takes to keep things at home inside some realm of normal. From the unexpected broken dryer, the shoveling of the snow from the massive snowstorm, the sick kids, the sick dogs, the flat tire, etc… I could go on and on.
    Thank you for your blog. It’s wonderful to have a place where others really do understand.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad you are here, Staci! Everything you said! It’s a great life, but not a cushy, easy one. Both our pilots and ourselves learn to be strong, self-sufficient individuals who can handle anything. My hope is to bring encouragement and joy to this life and teach our aviation family to seek community and learn to live it well!

      Like

  8. Hi! I recently started following your blog and I have to say I find it very encouraging and comforting. I’m not exactly a pilot wife yet (we plan on tying the knot next year) but I find myself relating to a lot of your posts.

    It can be so frustrating when these outsiders make side comments about pilots’ jobs — thinking that they’re all about vacations in exotic places or even *gasp* cheating on their S.O.’s back home. They don’t realize that most of the time, these guys (and gals) are actually just tired from flying all day and wishing they could be back home in the arms of their family and loved ones.

    When we first met, my pilot was still a flight instructor and I was still in law school. Since then, he’s become a commercial airline pilot and I am now a practicing lawyer. Through the years, we’ve taken turns supporting each other to achieve our dreams. I couldn’t be more proud to be part of the aviation family.

    Thank you so much for giving us this online home.😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your beautiful thoughts and comments. All you say is true. It’s nearly impossible to understand this life without living it. It’s a good life, but there are nuances. The majority of our fly guys are great, loving, hardworking men (and women). It’s my hope to change the way outsiders see us and the way we live our lives one precious heart at a time. Glad you found me.

      Like

  9. I found you blog after your post about United that my pilot boyfriend had posted on Facebook, which let me just say sparked arguments in his comment section, but then again, when doesn’t he spark controversy? Any who, I just want to thank you. I’ve been following your blog since and I’m hooked. I’m still “new” to this pilot life stuff – we’ve been dating for 2 years, but he just started flying commercially last fall. We’re young, both fairly recent college graduates. I’ve already gotten plenty of the “how do you do it?” and “So you’re like “single” half of the time?” comments already. I have my good days, and I definitely have my moments, but your blog gives me so much hope that I can do this. You’ve shown me that it’s all about perspective and letting go of what everyone else’s “norm” is and finding your own “normal.” I so look forward to continuing to follow your journey!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for being a part of #thepilotwifelife family. It seems I sparked controversy all over the world with the blog that shall not be named. LOL.

      You absolutely 💯 can do this! And do it WELL I might add. Finding your normal is totally correct. This life is full of joy. Perspective is everything. I often try to answer questions which are unintentionally steeped in negative connotation with a positive response. For instance…the single thing. You could easily go into pity mode and talk about how hard it is…or say, “I am so proud to have a passionate, hardworking man who supports me!” Perspective!

      Like

  10. So my wife will be a Pilot Wife soon and I completely agree with you…my wife has been the rock that has supported this family from day one…without her strength, determination and instinct, I wouldn’t be able to follow my dream of becoming a pilot.

    Liked by 1 person

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