Eleven Things That Always Happen When He’s Away

We all know that the pilot wife life at its worst can be chaos, but at its best its…

Eh, who am I kidding? At its best its still chaos! Sometimes it’s good chaos and sometimes… well, not so good. But it’s our chaos and we own it, rise above it, and figure out a way to love it. 

Then at the end of the day we pop the cork and make a toast to us–the strong, the insane, the pilot wives! 

Because let’s face it, if we don’t learn to laugh about it, then we will cry instead. 

So just for fun, here are eleven things that always happen when he’s gone:


1.  You and your children all come down with an illness, the likes of which hasn’t been seen in centuries…like the Martian plague or perhaps the dolphin flu. 


2.  It breaks. By ‘it,’ of course I mean… Every. Single. Thing. You. Own. 


3. Every activity that your family participates in has a ‘mandatory’ event. On the very same day. At the very same time. Now all you have to do is figure out how to be in four places at once. 


4. Your sweet little angels lose the halos and grow big devilish horns as soon as the door clicks shut behind your pilot.  


5.  Holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries all happen. How do special occasions always know when he’s gone? Never fails. 


6. The dog has explosive diarrhea and vomiting on the carpet. Six times. No…wait, make that seven. 


7. Someone needs you to make a major life-altering medical or financial decision right this minute. And no, they absolutely can’t wait until he comes home. 


8.  It breaks. Again.


9. A stray _____ shows up on your porch and you just can’t say no because it’s really cute and lonely (just like you). And let’s face it, he’s your ‘no’ person and when he’s gone you’re too tired to fight the good fight. And of course eventually this leads right back to number six. 

10. Your beautiful, quiet, middle-class oasis of safety suddenly becomes a terrifying, creaky, haunted mansion when the sun sinks below the horizon. 


11. You miss him like crazy. 

~A fellow Pilot Wife

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