Seriously? Do we really need another pilot wive’s group?
No. And yes.
It has been on my heart to do this for quite some time (my ultimate goal is actually to write a book to help women who call these skies home navigate the trials, hurdles, and general chaos that is the aviation life with dignity, integrity, and even joy). However, I had the same response to my own nudgings as you because, frankly, there are more than enough pilot wive’s groups available.
And yet there was something that was nagging at me, and that persistent nagging was getting harder and harder to ignore.
I ultimately started this page because, well, negativity. I’m tired of being told that I have to hate life as a pilot wife (or just as a wife in general) and grovel in abject misery for the rest of my days because of our lifestyle.
Now let’s get something straight right up front. I am in no way negating the pilot wife social media groups. In fact, conversely I believe strongly that they not only are good, but they are absolutely necessary. It takes those who have been there, done that to empathize, guide, advise, and just understand with compassion to the trials you are experiencing. If you have not found a solid community of pilot wife women to surround yourself with, just do it.
But we do live in a society where marriage is viewed very negatively and being a pilot marriage even more so. In fact, as I researched and tossed this idea around, I found it overwhelmingly difficult to find anything positive out there (from quotes to memes to conversations) about either one.
And my heart broke.
Because you deserve better. Your spouse deserves better. What we pour into our hearts will inevitably be the very thing that bleeds out. How can we love our husbands well and vice versa when there are no role models for that, when the world is constantly reminding us how ‘miserable’ we must be and how much easier it is to just quit?
The cold, hard fact is that this life is hard at times. But I am also convinced that it’s good too! I don’t just want to survive the pilot wife life, but I want to live it well.
We all know the frustrations and difficulties that accompany the pilot wife life, and we tend to perseverate on those things because, well, that’s just human nature and that’s what’s being poured into us.
But I want to know . . . Is it possible to stifle the negativity and focus on positivity and by so-doing begin a slow shift toward joy? If we begin to pour positivity into our hearts, will that become the overflow of our lives? And if we slowly but surely replace the bitterness in our hearts with joy, how then will that affect our marriages and overall well-being?
I think it’s time we found out, don’t you?
I hope this blog is a place where we can laugh at the many nuances of this chaotic life but also find a positive spin, useful ideas for preserving our marriages, and encouragement!
This is not a typical negative rant about the pilot wife life, but rather an endeavor to learn to love it, love one another in this community, and especially love our airline spouses fiercely and vice versa!
I don’t want us to apologize for loving our pilots or husbands, but to shout it out from the rooftop for the world to see. I don’t want to saturate social media with more negativity, but to pour positivity into your lives. I don’t want to sit idly by and watch as this life destroys any more of our marriages, but I want to find ways to make them stronger.
Our spouses are not the enemy. We must stop villainizing them, whether pilots or pilots wives, and truly face down the real monsters that want to destroy our marriages.
Let’s rekindle the flames. Let’s find the joy and blessings in our circumstances. Let’s love our traveling men so fiercely that the world has to stop and take notice!
His passion is flying and he chooses it. He is my passion and I choose him. Ladies, let’s learn to love what we live and live what we love.
We are the proud, the strong, the able–the pilot wives.
~A Fellow Pilot Wife